


Handprint

by maydei



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst Dean Winchester, Cas/Dean Unrequited Love, Episode: s06e12 Like a Virgin, Implied Relationships, Insecurity, Jealous Dean Winchester, M/M, Present Tense, Soul Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-25
Updated: 2013-01-25
Packaged: 2017-11-26 19:43:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/653754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maydei/pseuds/maydei
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maybe Sam isn't the broken one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Handprint

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kansaskissedlips](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=kansaskissedlips).



> _"I just saw your reblog of that thing with your comment “Cas’ handprint wraps around Sam’s hip—” and now I want to die, so have some fic with unrequited!Destiel and a side of Sastiel."_
> 
>  
> 
> Based on [this](http://supernaturallycaps.tumblr.com/post/21944690517) gifset.

“Let me tell you what his soul felt like when I touched it,” Cas says, and more than anything, Dean wants to beg him to stop. He doesn’t want to know—yeah, maybe because he doesn’t want to know how bad his brother really is. But mostly because the thought of Cas touching _Sam’s_ soul—

“It felt like it had been skinned alive,” Cas continues. Dean swallows heavily; but he won’t regret this, he _won’t._ He won’t regret that Sam is back to being a whole unit; cracked, but missing no pieces. Cracks can be repaired. A broken Sam can’t be.

But that isn’t what hurts—it’s the way Cas is looking at Dean. He’s disgusted; revolted. Dean’s stomach churns, because the last time Cas had looked at him like that, it had been because Dean was about to throw himself to Michael (and maybe if he had, Sam wouldn’t be in this state at all)—

But he is. Sam is in this state, but Dean won’t apologize. He did this _for Sam._ What Sam was _before_ wasn’t Sam at all, not really. That broken soul was the one Dean had raised with his own two hands and his own heart and his whole life. There was no damn way that he was leaving that with Lucifer and Michael to destroy as they saw fit. Not if he has a way to change it.

But is it worth it to see Cas look at him like this? He wants to reach out, but Cas is barely restraining himself from hitting Dean; Dean knows that look, knows the tension in the soulders, the clench of his jaw. He knows all these things about Castiel, and once, Castiel had known all those things about him.

Once, Cas had _cared_ about all those things that made Dean who he was.

Now it seems like the only things Cas cares about are the broken pieces of what is left of Sam.

Cas is staring him straight in the eye, and Dean can’t look away anymore. He won’t feel guilty, not for this. He did what he had to because he cares about Sam, cares about Sam more than _anyone_ (and the traitorous voice in his mind—that sounded strangely like the man seething before him—whispered _maybe not more than anyone, maybe someone else cares more_ ).

“If you wanted to kill your brother,” Cas says with quiet, deadly intent, “You should have done it outright.”

Dean’s mind locks down, and he’s left staring at Cas, wishing he could find the words to contradict him. He can’t. Not when he’s starting to realize that maybe Cas doesn’t think Sam is broken at all—

—maybe Dean is the broken one.

Cas disappears without another word, leaving Dean in an empty room. When Dean looks through the doorway toward his baby brother, he sees that Sam’s shirt has ridden up just the slightest bit.

Burned red and raised onto Sam’s hip is a handprint that Dean never thought he’d see again.

His stomach lurches and something in his chest feels like it’s breaking. He’s up the stairs and out Bobby’s front door in what feels like a (broken)heartbeat, falling onto all fours on the front lawn as he retches.

He can’t even find it in himself to be angry or betrayed—it was only a matter of time, he figures. After all, no one in their right mind would choose Dean if they could have Sam.

Dean thinks Cas is right to choose Sam. When it had been told that Dean would save them all from Lucifer, it wasn’t; it was Sam.

Given the choice, even Dean proves time and time again that he would always, _always_ choose Sam.

Sam and Cas; they’re the patron saints of free will, not Dean.

Dean’s just a soldier without marching orders—

—and now he’s not even sure if he has a cause.


End file.
